When creating The Daddy Issues Club I truly wanted it to be a community, not just a stand-alone project. I wanted to foster a safe space where women from all different backgrounds felt they could share their stories – anonymous or not. The first woman I connected with shared a similar story to mine, with a very different perspective. I am so incredibly honoured that she shared her journey with me, and with us.
Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash
Her story:
“Hi Hilary, my name is 🌼 (I would like to stay anonymous). My Dad also left when I was 14 years old, the same as you. I’ve struggled for quite some time over this and although our stories are similar they are different in the sense that I have a physical disability and am in a wheelchair.
My dad left for work one day and never came back. A few months after he left he told my mom that he had moved in with a coworker ‘friend’. He never told me he was dating her, not even to this day (obviously I figured it out myself). Fast forward 2 years later, he had a baby and he didn’t tell me until his partner was about six months along. Then a year later he came to visit me and told me they had another baby. He never told me she was pregnant because apparently there was never a good time to tell me, in the 9-months. Then fast forward another year he told me they got engaged six months before. Clearly, I was not important enough to keep updated on his ‘new life’. I found seeing him and his children in public extremely difficult as they were not physically disabled – it felt like a gut punch, but I got through it, mostly because of my Mom.”
Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash
“I cannot express how much my Dad’s actions have affected my mental health. The feeling of being tossed aside, unwanted, and unloved are such hard feelings to come to terms with. I have spoken with him a few times and he blames his poor mental health on me. Having a parent who is so self-absorbed, who can’t see past his own issues is extremely difficult.”
Finding a beacon in the emotional fog
After hearing 🌼’s story, my heart was filled with so much sadness & hurt for the beautiful woman this man has left behind. Although our stories are similar, her extra layer of having a physical disability is something I cannot relate to, but empathize with. I’m so glad she felt like she could tell her story to me and this community, her experience is hers and hers alone but I want her to know that she isn’t alone. Along with being so brave and vulnerable 🌼 is working on getting into her dream program at post-secondary and is making such great headway in working towards her goals – of working with others like her. I truly am inspired by her journey, her hardworking spirit, and the vulnerability it takes to tell your story to the world. I can’t wait to see all your success – The Daddy Issues Club will be here for every part of it.
Love Hilary (your girl with the daddy issues)
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