Ever since my Dad left, I’ve had a few boyfriends/lovers/situation-ships (more on them later). It wasn’t until 2017 that I found someone who would turn my world upside down, totally change my perspective on love and relationships, and give me the greatest love I’ve ever deserved.
After many failed relationships and knowing that I had a lot of work to do on myself I declared a “boy break”. After my declaration, my bestie David demanded I download Tinder which I reluctantly downloaded and paid no attention to. (I owe him big time for this!). It was a couple weeks of surfing the app full of men with bizarre pickup lines, some only wanting sex (which is totally fine btw!) that I received a notification from a man named Connor who simply said “Hey Hilary, how are you?”. Little did I know that simple, plain, easy, opening question would change my life forever.
The Love Story
I know where you think I am going with this blog post. This love was all-encompassing, passionate, perfect right from the start but I would be blatantly lying if I spit out some fairytale romance. This was nothing of the sort. Connor came into my life very quietly..he still is pretty quiet! (to be fair I don’t shut up long enough for him to get a word in). The first few years of our relationship were tough. Here was a man who didn’t want any drama, who just wanted me. I was still going through it with my Daddy Issues, I was still in the headspace of hating all men which I took out on Connor. I was in therapy trying to sort it out and Connor did something that no other man in my life had done up until that point – he stayed.
All men are actually…not the same.
There were arguments, tears, blaming, and all sorts of chaos. Yes, there was a lot of love and happiness but I knew that my issues were overclouding our relationship. There were many times I thought for sure he would leave, but he never did. I had these ideas in my head that “all men leave”, “all men are the same”, and “all men want to hurt me”, but Connor never did.
The point of this blog isn’t just to brag about how great my relationship is. Relationships take a lot of work and commitment and we still work on ours every day. My point is that women with daddy issues typically don’t end up in great relationships – the cycle continues. My point is that it is possible.
- It is possible to have your dad leave and abandon you but find forever love.
- It is possible for you to feel loved, safe, & secure in your relationship.
- It is possible for someone to walk alongside of you while you figure your shit out.
- It is possible for you to be loved unconditionally, despite your daddy issues.
It is possible because I have it. And trust me every single day I am grateful for this man. To my daddy issues club, be patient. I promise your great love is out there.
To my sweet, quiet, Connor. You are more than anything I ever could’ve hoped for. You are patient and kind and even though you drive me crazy I have never known a love like this. Thanks for staying when it probably would’ve been easier to leave. Thanks for loving me despite all my daddy issues. And thank you for walking this life with me.
PS. Can you take out the garbage?
Love Hilary (your girl with the daddy issues)
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