Welcome to the club you never asked to be a part of. But here you are, and I have a few things to get off my chest. My name is Hilary Walbourne & I have been diagnosed with daddy issues. At least that is what they tell me. The media has told me, over & over. Friends have said it, although joking around. Men have said it to me as well. About how women who have poor father figures grow up to be mischievous, promiscuous, risky, unsuccessful, unhappy, and jealous, and of course we blame them by saying they are the ones with the issues.

What is the issue, daddy? 

Daddy Issues is defined as a derogatory phrase used to categorize people (most often women) who have strained relationships with their fathers. It is typically used when women are being “over-sexual”, jealous, distrustful, & acting “crazy”.  

I bet after reading this you will hear it more than you’d expect. In TV shows, social media, music & maybe even IRL. This has been a phrase that has haunted me for precisely 13 years now ever since my dad abandoned me at the ripe age of 14 – when hormones are plentiful and the frontal cortex is lacking. 

Photo by Alexandra Slo on Unsplash

The actual phrase “Daddy Issues” stems from Sigmund Freud & the “Father Complex”, but I’m not here to bore you with that. I’m here to rewrite the narrative. I’m here to take the disgusting phrase of “daddy issues” and turn it into something positive. To create a community where we don’t let our dads win. They’ve taken enough away from us.

Characteristics

When googling the phrase “daddy issues” here are some words you will find:

• Clingy
• Territorial
• Sexual/Over sexual
• Whore
• Slut
• Attention Seekers
• Emotionally Unavailable
• Jealous
• Overbearing

My question is, why can’t I find these words?

• Resilient
• Vulnerable
• Strong
• Powerful
• Badass Bitch
• Fearless
• Courageous
• Smart
• Loving

A photo of me taken by the incredibly talented, sweet angel Lindsay J. Ralph.

As I sit here trying to write this welcome blog I truly don’t know where to start. I know what my mission is. I know that by creating Daddy Issues I want to create a community of powerful women that can proudly say “Yes I have Daddy Issues, and what about it?”, “Yes I have Daddy Issues, but look how successful I am without him”, Yes I have Daddy Issues, I’m still struggling to find my peace with it, but I have a community and I know I am not alone. This is not your typical blog/community. Will I make mistakes? Guaranteed. The blog may not always be pretty, perfect, or even well-written. It will mostly be raw, vulnerable, extremely messy, but real.

Who’s with me?

-Love Hilary Walbourne

your girl with the raging daddy issues, but damn proud of how far I’ve come.

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